About Patrick R. F. Blakley, CEO of ATwoSlotToaster.com
Patrick R. F. Blakley grew up as a young toaster in North Syracuse, New York, USA, Earth, Orion Arm, Milky Way, Local Group, Virgo Supercluster, Laniakea Supercluster, Universe #291,419,303. Patrick's obsession with toasters began inconspicuously when choosing a username for an online chat program called America Online Instant Messanger (AOL Instant Messanger), or just AIM. Anyway, his original usernames included pappydude2, chosen by his father, smudge223, a spelling word in middle school, and toxictoast2102, after a favorite Mighty Mighty Bosstones song (and the original band name of the lead singer, Dicky Barrett). In college, he decided he needed to find a username that started with the letter A since the friend-list on everyone's program was sorted alphabetically. Another stipulation was that he wanted a 'clean' username that didn't have any superfluous numbers attached to the end. He found himself repeatedly clicking on the Wikipedia random page button until he found something interesting, a page about toasters! This page struck him because his current username also had the word toast in it and the first image on the page had a caption, "two slot toaster." This was all the inspiration he needed! By simply adding the letter A to the front of the caption he had himself a unique username that would be at the top of the username list, and it didn't need any additional numbers at the end! We did it, everyone!
From here Patrick thought about making the nickname Toast stick, but the idea was too cringy, though the nickname was really really good! However, going further, he started using the username everywhere online. One message board, the Something Awful Forums, or simply SA (hello fellow goons, I'm protected, etc...), required an avatar to use with the online profile. This wasn't a problem because the SA Mart threads always had artists willing to help. One artist gifted an avatar of a cartoon toaster with a big number 2 on top and a funny grimace, it was clever and perfect!
After a while, Patrick looked into some toaster history and decided to purchase a restored 1934 antique toaster, the first-ever automatic pop-up two slot toaster! Using a master restorer from New York City, Toaster Central, Patrick acquired the very first item in his toaster collection! The collection has since grown to include anything related to toast from books about toast, books about toasts (wedding toasts for example), books by fake people named Toast, pictures of people almost named Toast, Toast Ale, Bread & Butter wine, toast street signs, toast town pamphlets, paint colors with toast in the name, CDs by bands like The Toasters, autographed promo posters by bands like The Toasters, ticket stubs for shows for bands like The Toasters, stuffed animals like Beanie Babies whose names are Toast, computer hardware and discs for Video Toaster software made by Dana Carvey's brother, toast shirts, neckties, and so much more! Patrick is also a member of the Toaster Collectors Association, yes, that's real, look it up. The association meets officially once per year, somewhere in the US, and talks about the unique and niche hobby.
Patrick is a marching band music judge and has written several other books, mostly about percussion and marching music, but some historical essays as well. If you're interested in tenor drumming or Terre Hill you might be the most similar person to Patrick in the whole world (and that's saying something because Patrick is a twin)!
Patrick holds the Guinness world record for fastest time watching Star Wars Episode VIII in full: 0.19 seconds!